The Crazy Pants of Facebook

Hey, Miss Liberty How are you holding up? When it comes to social media, one can often find the good and the bad. Lately, I think it’s more of the bad. Trying to give some people the benefit of the doubt for some of their bad, I chalk it up to the purposeful and malicious disinformation from the upside-down world we’re living in.

Just this morning I read that the current occupant of the Oval Office said that those who oppose the construction of the new White House ballroom are “very disloyal to our country.” I'm not finding anything in our US Constitution that says opposing sticks and stones on White House property is worthy of being hanged for treason.

Now, remembering the words of my mother correcting me in my teen years, that the White House was not the President’s House, but the People’s House, she would be wagging a finger in the face of the current occupant, and saying, “Listen, you SOB, everything you do is being disloyal to our country. Now get off your fat butt, make some phone calls, and rebuild the East Wing, put Jackie’s roses back to where you found them, and remove that gaudy gold crap. And if you want your dinner tonight, you will do it now!”

This week I have been keeping notes on some of the crazy pants I have encountered on Facebook. You'll meet Todd, Craig, Ethyl, Helen, and Steven.

Todd: He knows more about your vagina than you do. He will tell you all about miscarriages and procedures; if you miscarry, then you are doing something wrong, and Todd will inform you how to take care of your vagina after a miscarriage. (I commented to Todd, until he grows a vagina and female reproductive organs to STFU.)

Craig: He knows more than you do. Just ask him. Whatever your subject is, he has a certification in it, or he has a friend who knows more about the subject than you do. He also asks for “receipts” to prove your statement, but Craig doesn’t show receipts because he is a good christian (note the lower case “c”) and his Christian word is good. Jesus said so.

In a comment on a friend's page, I mentioned my concern for the USS Lincoln. Craig swooped in and commented that I had no reason to be concerned because all those things (food shortages and broken toilets) being reported were lies, since he had a friend on the USS Lincoln several years ago and everything was okay. His friend said so. I mentioned, of course, I have concerns. My family was military, and this is how I was raised to have concerns to protect the military. Craig suggested I was a liar and that I never had family in the military. Before I could counter, he told me his father was a highly honored war hero, decorated with medals, and his father fought in many wars. Poor thing. Craig needed this more than I did. No way I would use my family’s achievements for shallow bragging. I didn’t earn those medals. I didn’t fight in those wars.

As my mother would have said about Craig, “God love ‘em.”

Ethyl: She is a member of a private Facebook page who recently went on a tirade because other members “moved around” a recent post (they didn’t), and Ethyl told members to stop putting advertisements on her Facebook page (they didn’t). Ethyl seems to have a problem understanding how Facebook scrolling feeds work. A week ago, she went on another tirade, informing the admins to make all members “check in” by the end of each night before the admins "close down the posts." Ummm…

Helen: She doesn’t like my comments, and in caps she posted, “DO YOUR RESEARCH!” Sometimes I just don’t have the heart to tell people like Helen that I have done the research. I even wrote the research; my research was published, and I even sat on some of the research committees. And last but not least, to add a twist of professional craziness, Steven Cheung, White House Communications Director, showed us how well he communicates by saying ugly stuff about Sen. Jon Ossoff's looks and questioning the Senator’s love of America. Listen, I don’t like to make fun of people’s looks, but Cheung needs to look in the mirror before he berates the handsome Ossoff. Besides, Cheung looks like a well-used lunch sack. Sometimes I miss those new Facebook peeps who sent around those copy/paste posts that say "If you pat your head, rub your belly, and hit the Q and the asterisk keys on your keyboard at the same time, all of those advertisements will disappear - forever! It really works!" One of your biggest fans, C~